Ever since I heard the word “blog”, I was in. Over the past 5 or so years, I have read blogs about home decor, weddings, design, cooking, along with other this- is- my-life kind of blogs. But in the last 6 months, I have been reading blogs that have encouraged my soul. The authors are honest and desire to promote godliness in their readers. I have been so blessed by these people (check out 3 favorites: Ruby, Suzanne, and Casey).
Sometimes I get caught up in trying to post about things I am proud of or think are pretty. This post is different. This post is ugly, but I hope to open up to you so that you will be part of my real life.
I can handle frogs, fish, and things that most girls squeal about. Bugs are creatures that gross me out. Sure, I can kill them if they come into my space, but cockroaches are another story. These guys are just disgusting.
I have never had much exposure to them, until I started my job in the basement of DUC. This building is pretty old and is about to be renovated. My office, in particular, is right next door to the sump pump. Guess who loves that little closet??? You guessed it: roaches.
The first few roach sightings were terrible. They would be under my desk or in the hall before my office. I would run or squeal. But things have changed. I am getting really accustomed to seeing roaches. They don’t terrify me anymore. I just go about my business and hope it doesn’t try to crawl on my foot.
This morning, as I saw one of these little buddies crawling around the bathroom (pictured above), I realized how normal they are to me now. The Lord immediately convicted my heart that this is how I have been treating my sin.
At the first realization when I haven’t read my Bible in a while, I feel remorse that my heart has not loved the Lord as I should. But as time goes on and I push this guilt further into the depths of myself, I become so numb to the sin. I just go about my day and ignore the disobedience. I treat those around me poorly and don’t even blink.
Have you ever felt like this?
The beauty of the Gospel is that we can be free from our sin. Christ has conquered it for good. There are new mercies each morning.
But we must deny ourselves.
“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” Matthew 16:24-28
My prayer is that I would be kingdom minded this week. The Lord desires that we commune with Him and He has made a way.